SWOT, X3 and discussions

Well, it's swot vac once again and boy have I got it nasty this semester. It's alright now at least. I feel I have a chance of survival but of course this semester is aimed upon a H2B and above for all subjects now. I don't know how confident I actually feel about getting that grade. The subject matter is huge and I don't think I've actually tested myself on anything properly. I guess tomorrow I'll pull out a paper and scare the willies of myself.

Despite that the strangest things happen over swot vac. For example I find that during every swot vac I will gain a new crush. Haha. Well, it's not anything but my mind searching for some escape route from the suffocating amount of information that is being pushed into it. I guess with that realisation everything is under control.

And then all swot vacs must include grand philosophical and religious discussions. It's been a while actually since I've faced up with these things again. In a way, I was getting comfortable in my faith. All I wanted at one point of time was to actually feel secure and sure of what I believed in. So I guess I cut off a lot of distracting and disturbing questions till I found a strong base to root myself into. I believe, at least knowledge and faith wise, I've found my rock and shelter. So things have been popping up to annoy and frustrate me as it would every swot vac, but this time at least my core has remained unshaken.

Speaking with Wern and Evelyn, at first reminded me of how most religious discussions run. Round and round the mulberry bush and no one hears anything nor really says anything. But perhaps there was a point when I stopped attacking through logic and philosophical discussion, which has no bearing in truth, and listened a little to what they actually thought of God. It's always interesting what that question brings up within people. When you take away all the distractions of religion, rules, philosophies and leave a person open and free to say what they think of God you usually uncover something deeper within them or at least discover that the philosophical points are not actually what they are harrassed or disturbed over. But it did let me tell them of my own walk with God and hopefully clear some misconceptions of what being a Christian is about, where they surprisingly started listening attentively. I was quite surprised with their reaction when I started talking about my own normal experiences with God. Lol. they were more interested to listen to me talk about God, which were my own and have no proofs nor explanations, than to actually hear me debate the more drastic points of philosophy.

And in the midst of all this ... X-Men 3. Lol. for a comic movie I thought it was pretty well done. I enjoyed all the special effects and how they naturalised the mutants into, slightly, more believable characters. There were also a lot of hot babes walking around. Of course Storm was hot, but Halle Berry has always had my vote for physical attraction (although I have heard she is not such a nice person as an actress). Then Callisto and Psylocke the two punk goth chicks were ooo... of course they showed Psylocke far less that Callisto, but oh yeah go asian goth babes (I'm sorry, I have something for the black leather, piercings and tattoos... something seriously wrong with my mental makeup I'm sure). Magneto's helmet still sucks and I still think neither Charles Xavier nor Magneto actually come close to their appearances in the comic :P but that's just my personal annoyance. The SFX are really well done I must say, kudos to whoever was in charge of the graphics. The Phoenix's costume was the awesome - blood red trench coat and corset - beat that you Matrix characters! So, anyway, not at all disappointed with the movie. They left so many loopholes for a possible fourth I almost found it funny. :P

Signing off for now... (why didn't anyone tell me that the prac exam was on Monday???)

Days of incssant studying followed by days of absolute laziness

Yeah well. It happens like that.

Something about Sunday mornings that I happen not to go to church and sit down quietly in my room.

There is a calm that seems to filter through the atmosphere on these mornings where the world is quiet and undisturbed. The whole earth could be sleeping then and there is no strife and there is no sadness. Just peace for a short space of time.

Well after sleeping incredibly late last night listening to Mark and Wern jaw on about the latest bosses and zones in World of Warcraft I and then later running through some comic ideas with Kim Hon, I finally went to sleep. Yesterday was completely wasted. Did not study a single drop but probably had more fun, rest and recuperation than I have had for a month.

Although I did miss church by waking up late and therefore should probably be studying now as well I feel loth to do so. Like this is a morning that should be spent quietly and perhaps in a little prayer - despite the fact my mind has not really been on God this morning. Well, there is the rest of the day (and night) to go completely balistic on the books if need be.

Pretty happy that I could actually answer some of Omar's questions last night as he quizzed me at CC's birthday party. See, usually I stare at him blankly and wonder what the hell he is talking about and how could he possibly know my lecture notes better than I??? Which I guess is the reason I'm feeling reasonably more calm.

Oh well there is still much work to be done if I am to seal my 70++ marks.

Have a good day everyone

26/5/06

Good morning everyone!

Well it's Friday. What I like to consider the true beginning of the free study period. 14 days to my first exam. 14 days to stuff everything that has to be stuffed into my head stuffed in.

Feeling extremely intimidated by the sheer volume of the whole thing. Still there is hope. My base knowledge is no longer at point 0. Hopefully I make truly good use of this period of time to study.

Last night at prayer meeting there were many many heavy hearts. I guess it's a lot to do with the stress of exams coming up and realising all the lectures missed were the important ones. But for whatever reason through the prayer meeting was a good feeling of calm amidst all the troubled faces. Although it is always good to hear someone having a good week or a good revelation from God, that's what prayer meeting ought to be, a place where once you leave, you feel rejuvenated in spirit and stronger. In a way that's what I've always wanted this prayer meeting to be and it is only in this year that such an atmosphere has been realised. And I thank God for this, it certainly is not of my doing and it is good to keep each other in prayer.

Well, I didn't get to study yesterday. That's probably not a very good thing, but I just couldn't be motivated to. Probably because the day before I went beserk and went through a good six to eight lectures. Seriously need to pace myself for this whole thing to be effective.

Ah well may the lord be with me in this time of stress. All the best y'all.

22/5/06

Sometimes too many things pop up in life all at once. I wish it were all simple and easy. Maybe it just is and I fail to see so...

Sigh - real problems - denture patient cannot seem to get used to his new dentures, he is not a happy chappy - wasting too much time brooding, studies do not get done.

Culminative problems - when a good friend decides to tell you they don't trust you anymore, what are you supposed to do? when all your friends start getting discouraged and you have no advice or word of God to support them, what do you do? when all you can feel is a slow, grilling irritation within your chest and God says 'Rejoice!' what the hell do you do?

I feel quite trodden on. As though I have heard nothing wholesome and good for a long while. Why is it so dark? Where is the kingdom of Heaven forcefully advancing forward? All I can see and hear of are troubled lives. Have I become blind? Where Lord is laughter and joy? Where is peace and happiness? Why Lord have you not pressed yourself deep into our lives and shone where it's so dark?

Jesus, I need rest! I want to go to sleep untrammeled by nightmares. I want to worship God without worrying that my prayer is too small. I want to stop hurting from other people. I want a life others can look at and draw strength from. I want to see the spirit of the Lord move. I want to feel the yoke of sin broken from my back.

When Lord? When will these things be? I'm tired and the enemy is tireless and daunting.

So I'm just going to have to wait here on You. I don't think I can celebrate or be joyous that easily, as though it all didn't matter. But I can have hope and faith that eventually You'll see us through even if I can see no light.

18/5/06

Sigh... the workload is really getting to me. I have been persistent for a chile now with my studies. But suddenly I feel really sapped. This is not a good thing at all. The pace should be increasing beyond this. Worried and yet not at the same time. It's all difficult.

Life is an oddball of a thing. I just can't seem to get a grip on it. Just as you feel that you have familiarised yourself with everything that could pop up and are beginning to whine about the jadedness of everything, everything begins to change and warp till you begin complaining of not being able to handle everything.

ok. enough ambiguity and complaining... back to lecture notes....sigh...

I think the blog wil only come in swing after exams. Catch you then

16/5/06

Sorry sorry. But the days have gone completely hectic. I am worried about my exams cos I haven't studied as much as I should have and things have all piled up nicely now for me to wade through. So I'll ust have to pull up the breeches and run with it. I wouldn't have to if I was just aiming to pass but I was hoping to push everything into a B grade and above. Considering that both mid semesters have been mediocre Cs I guess I just have to plunge in deeper. I know I can still reach greater levels of study so oh well here goes again. The Vong that sat for SPM is back :P (or he's gonna get dragged out anyway) Muahahahahhaa.

13/5/06

Man what a long day.

Sorry don't feel like starting full blown one tonight. Maybe tomorrow. Chill people. It's been a damn eventful day.

Night

I am back

Sorry for that hiatus from the blogging world everyone. But I had to get away from something for a little while.

Anyway, this has started up as have the another two blogs. My philosophy blog and my amusing blog. Do check em out sometime. Well, I guess we start all over again. First post begins tonight. Hope to see everyone aroung