22/5/06
Sometimes too many things pop up in life all at once. I wish it were all simple and easy. Maybe it just is and I fail to see so...
Sigh - real problems - denture patient cannot seem to get used to his new dentures, he is not a happy chappy - wasting too much time brooding, studies do not get done.
Culminative problems - when a good friend decides to tell you they don't trust you anymore, what are you supposed to do? when all your friends start getting discouraged and you have no advice or word of God to support them, what do you do? when all you can feel is a slow, grilling irritation within your chest and God says 'Rejoice!' what the hell do you do?
I feel quite trodden on. As though I have heard nothing wholesome and good for a long while. Why is it so dark? Where is the kingdom of Heaven forcefully advancing forward? All I can see and hear of are troubled lives. Have I become blind? Where Lord is laughter and joy? Where is peace and happiness? Why Lord have you not pressed yourself deep into our lives and shone where it's so dark?
Jesus, I need rest! I want to go to sleep untrammeled by nightmares. I want to worship God without worrying that my prayer is too small. I want to stop hurting from other people. I want a life others can look at and draw strength from. I want to see the spirit of the Lord move. I want to feel the yoke of sin broken from my back.
When Lord? When will these things be? I'm tired and the enemy is tireless and daunting.
So I'm just going to have to wait here on You. I don't think I can celebrate or be joyous that easily, as though it all didn't matter. But I can have hope and faith that eventually You'll see us through even if I can see no light.
Sigh - real problems - denture patient cannot seem to get used to his new dentures, he is not a happy chappy - wasting too much time brooding, studies do not get done.
Culminative problems - when a good friend decides to tell you they don't trust you anymore, what are you supposed to do? when all your friends start getting discouraged and you have no advice or word of God to support them, what do you do? when all you can feel is a slow, grilling irritation within your chest and God says 'Rejoice!' what the hell do you do?
I feel quite trodden on. As though I have heard nothing wholesome and good for a long while. Why is it so dark? Where is the kingdom of Heaven forcefully advancing forward? All I can see and hear of are troubled lives. Have I become blind? Where Lord is laughter and joy? Where is peace and happiness? Why Lord have you not pressed yourself deep into our lives and shone where it's so dark?
Jesus, I need rest! I want to go to sleep untrammeled by nightmares. I want to worship God without worrying that my prayer is too small. I want to stop hurting from other people. I want a life others can look at and draw strength from. I want to see the spirit of the Lord move. I want to feel the yoke of sin broken from my back.
When Lord? When will these things be? I'm tired and the enemy is tireless and daunting.
So I'm just going to have to wait here on You. I don't think I can celebrate or be joyous that easily, as though it all didn't matter. But I can have hope and faith that eventually You'll see us through even if I can see no light.
posted by Ash at 8:24 AM
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