Reflection
Apologies for the lack of posts.
The days passby faster than I can keep track of them despite it being the holidays. Things are drawing fast to an end and I am beginning to feel a hectic rush of a semester begin.
The damned growth studies project is bothering me to no end. We were meant to be finished with this since the second week. But then consider that we are lazy procrastinating university students obviously that would not happen. So here I am staring at all these particularly meaningless numbers wondering if I should be doing dentistry at all.
Well, yeah the results are out. Despite the effort put in this semester, I am trailing somewhere at the bottom of the class... I don't quite believe it myself. But my standing among my classmates is somewhere around the lower quater of the class. Exactly where did I go wrong? I have no idea, but it's pissing me off.
Somewhere I lost it. I thought having survived in Singapore I would be more than well prepared to take on a lot of education systems, and the Australian Universities are not well known for extremely strenuous studying.
I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. I thought I knew enough to get better marks. Apparently not. Sigh...
Or maybe I just can't accept the fact that I'm just not as smart as the rest of the cohort and that in Dentistry I am in fact below average!
Then again, when I look back at the semester I know I could have studied a lot better. I know that in truth I only started the hardcore studying somewhere 6 weeks before the exams and that before the six weeks I knew close to nuts about what the hell I was doing. One of my key weaknesses is that I never seem to have the lecture notes for anything. It was not until a couple of weeks before the exams that I actually had a full set of lecture notes for everything from Sivlee.
So in short - a lot more discipline is required and a lot more organised revision right from the start and less panicked frenzy studying towards the end.
Sigh... Well it's smack in the middle of Dentistry now. Even with low results I'm not kicked out yet! I believe I can still bring my results to good levels. I just don't know what the cost of that may be.
It's not easy though. And I do wish I was more enthusiastic about my course. It always has been the problem that I chose dentistry not out of want but out of a matter of elimination. Perhaps the interviewer at NUS was right to not take me into dentistry in Singapore.
It's life though isn't it? You don't always get to do the things you want to do. Everyone these days is so up on the do what you want to do with life though. It's not that easy sometimes guys. There is such a thing as responsibility and reality.
I dreamnt a dream this afternoon. I can't remember the details. But it was about dentistry and how much I didn't want to do it. It was a terrible feeling.
What choice do I have now other than to find something within my course that will initiate some interest? I find that Omar who is the ultimate dentistry enthusiast is constantly thinking about dentistry. I instead the moment I get out of my faculty wish to think and ponder everything else except dentistry.
For now at least I hold on to my mother's advice that the results don't matter anymore and that as long as I'm still comfortably within passing range that's all they want of me. And also the fact, my dad, who is one of the most intelligent men I know failed his fourth year of medicine just because he hated it so much. When there is no will... is there no way?
In a small way, I am walking his path. This course isn't what I want to do with my life. But I just have to find the discipline and will to complete it... and complete it well if that is ever possible. But it's so hard when you're just not actually on fire about what you are doing.
The days passby faster than I can keep track of them despite it being the holidays. Things are drawing fast to an end and I am beginning to feel a hectic rush of a semester begin.
The damned growth studies project is bothering me to no end. We were meant to be finished with this since the second week. But then consider that we are lazy procrastinating university students obviously that would not happen. So here I am staring at all these particularly meaningless numbers wondering if I should be doing dentistry at all.
Well, yeah the results are out. Despite the effort put in this semester, I am trailing somewhere at the bottom of the class... I don't quite believe it myself. But my standing among my classmates is somewhere around the lower quater of the class. Exactly where did I go wrong? I have no idea, but it's pissing me off.
Somewhere I lost it. I thought having survived in Singapore I would be more than well prepared to take on a lot of education systems, and the Australian Universities are not well known for extremely strenuous studying.
I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. I thought I knew enough to get better marks. Apparently not. Sigh...
Or maybe I just can't accept the fact that I'm just not as smart as the rest of the cohort and that in Dentistry I am in fact below average!
Then again, when I look back at the semester I know I could have studied a lot better. I know that in truth I only started the hardcore studying somewhere 6 weeks before the exams and that before the six weeks I knew close to nuts about what the hell I was doing. One of my key weaknesses is that I never seem to have the lecture notes for anything. It was not until a couple of weeks before the exams that I actually had a full set of lecture notes for everything from Sivlee.
So in short - a lot more discipline is required and a lot more organised revision right from the start and less panicked frenzy studying towards the end.
Sigh... Well it's smack in the middle of Dentistry now. Even with low results I'm not kicked out yet! I believe I can still bring my results to good levels. I just don't know what the cost of that may be.
It's not easy though. And I do wish I was more enthusiastic about my course. It always has been the problem that I chose dentistry not out of want but out of a matter of elimination. Perhaps the interviewer at NUS was right to not take me into dentistry in Singapore.
It's life though isn't it? You don't always get to do the things you want to do. Everyone these days is so up on the do what you want to do with life though. It's not that easy sometimes guys. There is such a thing as responsibility and reality.
I dreamnt a dream this afternoon. I can't remember the details. But it was about dentistry and how much I didn't want to do it. It was a terrible feeling.
What choice do I have now other than to find something within my course that will initiate some interest? I find that Omar who is the ultimate dentistry enthusiast is constantly thinking about dentistry. I instead the moment I get out of my faculty wish to think and ponder everything else except dentistry.
For now at least I hold on to my mother's advice that the results don't matter anymore and that as long as I'm still comfortably within passing range that's all they want of me. And also the fact, my dad, who is one of the most intelligent men I know failed his fourth year of medicine just because he hated it so much. When there is no will... is there no way?
In a small way, I am walking his path. This course isn't what I want to do with my life. But I just have to find the discipline and will to complete it... and complete it well if that is ever possible. But it's so hard when you're just not actually on fire about what you are doing.
posted by Ash at 1:10 AM
8 Comments:
yah know vong; the studies show that working (on anything other than school work) for more than 15 hours a week lowers grades in university students; regardless of intelligence.
Maybe you're running too many extra curriculars; although I'm not about to tell you what you should or shouldn't do.
Actually, what you SHOULD do is iisten to your parents :) They seem pretty awesome
15 Hours? That's a pathetically small number....
sorry patey but i disagree. as long as you have your priorities right you can totally do good at uni even if you work or whatever. its not about the amount of time but the effectiveness of time.
vonga- i cant help you with finding motivation and love of the subject but i do think you can be more effective in your study. perhaps try to memorise things rather than just read ing the notes. if you ever want to have a chat feel free. i'm not sure if i'm any help given my notorious neurosis.
oh and i find fear of failure (or perceived failure) is a great if unhealthy motivator. take what you consider a H2 result and say to yourself, this is this a H3 at best, i need to know more than this and you'll be fine. I mean, you'll be stressed as all hell but you'll get better marks. I mean i turned out ok. Didn't i?
I never worked with the stressing myself out thing. Frankly, under a state of stress my brain freezes.
I have always worked by being able to coolly stave of stress and taking things calmly by good planning and constant work. I guess thus far the planning and consistency is not good enough. I'll have to find my own way out of this but thanks for the advice anyway...
ok sorry bro, but in my mind u are up there in intelligence and what not! and thats from the singpaore system which is really hard core.
a few points id like to bring up.
1. FIrstly peaking is important, dont stress toom much now, if not u wil reaally get jaded.
2. Get organised early, and this i trust u will do, organising clears the mind of clutter as well.
3. Spend more time with dent study buddies, and go thru stuff together.
4. Finally, when you have fun, go all out! and live for the moment man.
All the best, and id trust you both on saving my smile and curong my jaw and teaching me kids relativty!
awesome jeanie... I'm glad you've stirred the pot and disagreed; we hardly ever do that enough with people...or I don't anyway, BUT
to address your disagreement, I was just stating what the studies have shown, not really what I believe. Again, I'm not about to tell vong what to, or what not to do; ECA's have also been proven to contribute to one's education. So there! Maybe we shouldn't believe everything we read hehe
Vong if you work any study any longer than last sem I will smack you :)
You spent way many hours than Kim and I combined on studying. And you are not dumb... just inefficient on how you study perhaps.
Motivation in your subject helps but is not essential to doing well. A bit of stress never is never a bad thing when it comes to studying just don't overboard with it. Hmmm ... maybe I should just drag u next time I go to a meditation class .... :P
aww...
thanks for the support guys. :) we will work on it indeed
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